I’m still terribly shy and nervous and fail at working a room.
I know that squealing when I see old friends again makes me smile like crazy.
I know that meeting old friends for the first time will never get old.
I know that words are my power when it comes to this community. But trying to describe it never feels right.
I was at a party a few weeks ago where someone mentioned they weren’t going to eat any more cookies because getting diabetes would be the worst thing in the world. I informed them of the inaccuracy of their statement without disclosing that I have type 1 diabetes. The people at the party who know I have diabetes were not in the room. I wasn’t in a fighting mood or a “talk tactfully and succinctly to get my point across” mood, so I left the room.
As I was repeating this story to a friend this week, I realized that what sticks out in my mind as a major diabetes moment and what sticks out in my friends’ minds can be quite different.
There was a festival in town one weekend and I finally felt like I had made friends and they wanted me to join them. Who am I to say no to doing things with friends. Everywhere I looked there was delicious food. What was I going to have. Not if. What. I/we made my/our decision. I told my friends this was not a decision we could back out on because our choice had so much sugar (more than anything else there), that I would go low if I pre-bolused and then decided on something else. I think I guesstimated that it was something like 80 or 90 or possibly even 100g of carbs. I programmed my insulin pump and let the sound of delivery be music to my ears next to the kids laughing around us. We reached the front of the line and it was sold out. “You can go to our store tomorrow” they said. I had to immediately figure out what to do. This is the moment my friend realized how panicky life with diabetes can get. I mean, I was sad and disappointed and nervous about going low, but I bought multiple other things to get to the carb count. I’m sure I also had airheads with me. But it was a super hot day so if I got super low or went low super fast, this would’ve been a day I would have just wanted to stop and sit. No matter where I was. I don’t remember going low that day (doesn’t mean I didn’t), and I don’t remember going high (doesn’t mean I didn’t). I remember so many other wonderful things. Now I know that diabetes panic is part of someone else’s memory from that day.
I don’t think of this as a panic moment. I don’t think I appeared panicked. I know this friend has been around for more panicky moments. Did I hide those? If I did, why? I think I’d be safer if friends know when I actually panic and when I don’t. I believe it would keep me safer in an emergency. But, I really like this story. I like that a quick change of plans made this okay. I like that to me it’s funny and to them it wasn’t. I love the different views of how we dealt with it. I like that a simple story taught them more and more about diabetes. No one is going to learn it all in a day. Every experience teaches those around us, even if the lesson isn’t what we intend.
The very first inspiration for Diabetes Blog Week was to help connect our blogging community, and that continues to be the most important reason it’s held every year. So let’s help foster and continue those connections as we wrap up another Dblog Week. Share a link to a new blog you’ve found or a new friend you’ve made. Or pick a random blog off of the Participant’s List, check it out and share it with us. Let’s take some time today to make new friends.
From the beginning, Diabetes Blog Week has been about building the community. There are heart-warming, gut-wrenching, soul-sharing & belly laughing posts out there. Every single post deserves to be read, but I’m just one person and can’t read them all in one week. Here are the ones I’ve read and have stuck out and I think you should read too. (In order of when I read them.)
(I’m sorry I’m SO late for today, but the weather has been beautiful and I’ve been outside all day. This also means I haven’t been able to catch up at all, so here are six days worth of blogs I think are worth reading.)
If you have been blogging for a while, what is your favorite sentence or blogpost that you have ever written? Is it diabetes related or just life related? If you are a new blogger and don’t have a favorite yet, tell us what motivated you to start sharing your story by writing a blog? (Thank you Laddie of Test Guess and Go for suggesting this topic.)
Maybe this is cheating. But maybe this is the easiest way for me to tell you all that I feel. There are so many parts of me, just like there are lots of pieces to you. I’m separating this post into three types of motivation. Diabetes. Blog. Life. I’ve gone through my Pinterest thoughtful board and found quotes that motivate me to be the best I can be in those three areas. These motivations keep me going. They help me stay true to me. They help me write here (and decide what to write). They help me be okay with all that diabetes throws at me and keep me working hard every day to make my diabetes life as easy as possible.
We are all motivated by different thoughts, people, words and ideas. Check here for other bloggers’ motivations.
Taking a cue from Adam Brown’s recent post, write a post documenting what you eat in a day! Feel free to add links to recommended recipes/shops/whatever. Make it an ideal day or a come-as-you-are day – no judgments either way. (Thank you, Katy of Bigfoot Child Have Diabetes for this topic.)
I like to think that I have the self control to always eat what will make my diabetes easier to manage/stabilize. However, I am not that kind of person. I don’t buy ice cream to keep in the house because I have no self-control, therefore ice cream stands are my favorite. Since I have no self-control, I work really hard to keep healthier foods around. Sometimes I’m successful, sometimes I’m not. Here’s a “day.” (I’ve been sick this week so this is a combination of days, which might look like a real day on a healthy day.)
Here are a few other tid-bits you might find important/interesting.This is NOT a typical day for me, just examples of how I like to eat. I try to eat a well-rounded, balanced diet. I can get pretty bored with foods, so I vary from day to day. If you have questions about any of the foods I’ve mentioned, don’t hesitate to ask. If you have questions about how these food affect my blood sugars, then I can’t really answer your questions. I do try to pay attention, but I don’t keep enough logs or data to know exactly how any food affects me. This is what works for me, and I hope that you have things that work for you. I think that cookbooks and Pinterest are the greatest things in the world to keep variety in my diet.
Here is what other people are eating!
Today let’s talk about changes, in one of two ways. Either tell us what you’d most like to see change about diabetes, in any way. This can be management tools, devices, medications, people’s perceptions, your own feelings – anything at all that you feel could use changing. OR reflect back on some changes you or your loved one has seen or been through since being diagnosed with diabetes. Were they expected or did they surprise you?
I’m traveling back to high school today.
My pediatric endo started suggesting a pump for me at least 2 years before I went on the pump. I had no interest. I was doing well on Lente & Regular and I liked the predictability of my life and I knew what I needed to eat and I knew how to stay healthy. There was nothing anyone could say to make me want an insulin pump. I remember a camp friend, who had the same doctor, who wanted an insulin pump more than anything. The endo didn’t think she was actually ready for this transition. (Keep in mind that insulin pumps were NOT the norm at that time.) I remember her telling me how crazy I was for not transitioning to the insulin pump when our doctor was encouraging this. And could I talk to the doctor for her?!
I ran cross-country and the team decided to go to Olive Garden after practice one night. We decided at practice. We wanted to get to dinner, but I had to borrow a cell phone (and find someone willing to let me use their precious minutes). I called my dad who worked down the road from my school, who drove to our house 30 minutes away, then back to give me my insulin. I was so embarassed that my diabetes could make all of us late. He handed over my insulin and off we went. That night after I got home I talked to my mother about NEEDING the insulin pump. I realized that life won’t always be able to be worked around my eating schedule. It took one day for me to want to radically change my diabetes care. Six months later, I was on a pump and I haven’t looked back.
What have you changed in your diabetes life? Check here for other changes.
Today I’m choosing a wild card post. I tried to write about Clean It Out, but the words just never sounded right. I’ll only be sharing one story though. Here’s my prompt for today:
Diabetes can sure bring some crazy moments. So tell us your Top 3 craziest D related stories! If you can’t think of three, don’t worry. We’re just as happy with one or two . . . . (Thank you Maria M of My Life: A Long Trip with T1D for this topic.)
I ran into one of these friends at a restaurant this year and I started thinking about this story. Should I tell it? Am I remembering it correctly?
It was a high school dance. I was completely sober all through high school. At the time, drinking with diabetes terrified me. People kept telling me it would feel like feeling low and why on Earth would I want to duplicate that feeling?!
I was still on the exchange system eating only when needed and still taking Lente & Regular and testing 4 or 6 times per day and therefore not carrying my meter with me. I remember feeling low. I went out to my bag to get my tube of tabs. I had two because that is how many I treated with at the time. I wasn’t feeling better. I had the whole tube (10 glucose tabs). My two best friends sat with me and asked me what else to do. I told them to go find my best friend from second grade. The one who wouldn’t hurt a fly, who asked my mother in junior high how to take care of me if my mom wasn’t around. The social butterfly who just didn’t run in our circle. This is where my memory cuts out. They got her, and she got me a can of Sprite and peanut butter crackers. At some point a speaker blew out and the music stopped after a loud bang and no one believes I don’t recall this. One friend went to get her car and the other helped me with my shoes and jacket and purse and they drove me home. When we were driving by a gas station a mile from my house I perked up in the backseat and asked how I got there? They walked me inside and left me with my parents.We never talked about this again. I don’t know how they felt and I don’t know how scared my parents were. I don’t know if they even still think about it. I haven’t talked about this one in a long time, but it’s crazy and wild and it hasn’t happened again. Check here for other crazy diabetes stories!
Many of us share lots of aspects of our diabetes lives online for the world to see. What are some of the aspects of diabetes that you choose to keep private from the internet? Or from your family and friends? Why is it important to keep it to yourself? (This is not an attempt to get you out of your comfort zone. There is no need to elaborate or tell personal stories related to these aspects. Simply let us know what kinds of stories we will never hear you tell, and why you won’t tell them.)
(Thank you Scott E of Rolling in the D for this topic.)
There are a few subjects that I won’t write about here. Some may appear if I’m still writing in a few years, but at this point in my life, it’s not something I want to be out there publicly. I have talked about them with a few trusted friends, but the thought of being googled and someone reading my deepest fear, well that’s a little intimidating. If I write about it here, it gives family and friends (and maybe even acquaintances) the chance/opportunity/permission to ask about it in public settings. The information I won’t write about are items I keep near & dear to my heart. If I decide to talk about them, I want it to be on my terms.
I appreciate being an open book for you regarding my diabetes. I want to help and to give you ideas. I appreciate when you are an open book as well. However, I also appreciate our privacy. Check here for what others hold onto for themselves.