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Eighteen Months 

April 19, 2017

I always said I could never take a pump break. Lantus never seemed to work, so how could I possibly stop using one? But I did. A pump site fell out and I don’t think I’ll ever forget the feeling of, “Yes! I’m done!” I thought I might take a month break. 

Eighteen months ago when a pump site fell out and my first thought was, “yes! I’m done!” I knew I needed a break. I never imagined my break would last this long or that I would choose an entirely new-to-me pump. I’m giddy over here, impatiently waiting to start back up on a pump.

I’ve been playing phone tag trying to set up my training, but when I got home yesterday and took the pump out of the box not knowing when I could start, I started crying. Chronic illness emotions are weird, so armed with the instruction book and my prior knowledge f insulin pumps, I taught myself this morning. I just gave myself my first bolus and I’m so giddy that this is back in my life. When I was putting the pump site in, it felt as though no time had passed.

These two photos (and their captions) briefly cover what I’ve been feeling. 

  • I know I still need to go in for training. 
  • I don’t completely know how it’s working for me yet, because starting was an impulsive decision about two hours after my Levemir dose. 
  • Filling this reservoir is weird! 
  • With the ping, I used the long tubing so I could shower with it. I chose the short tubing this time, which is convenient for tucking it into pockets, but it seems SO short. 
  • Bolusing is so much more convenient. 
  • I got into bed and forgot I had to sleep with it. It didn’t bother me last night, but I couldn’t feel it under my back this morning. 
  • I cannot wait to use a temp basal for exercise rather than using foods for safe BGs. 
  • I would be way more nervous about starting this by myself if I was not using the Dexcom. 
  • I’m really grateful to all the T slim users who have offered advice and support and “let me know if you have any questions!” 

Ten Minutes 

April 6, 2017

I get it. I see you for 10 minutes every year. Or, I’ve seen you for 10 minutes every year since I moved to Boston. You’re always very nice and ask about my job, my activities and my A1C (which I don’t get because you have access to it). You’ve always been at the top of my list for personality as far as doctors go. 

And then it happened. Normally your speech goes like this: How long have you had diabetes? That’s amazing; your eyes are still perfect. This is how it went this year: How long have you had diabetes? I can see some retinopathy. 

The tears instantly started falling, but you had already turned your back to write this diagnosis in my file and order images of my eyes. You had me go there and the elderly medical professional made me completely and utterly uncomfortable, forcing my head into this machine, no matter how many times I told her that just by pushing harder, didn’t mean I could see the light. When I saw you again, you told me that the retinopathy was minimal, and that you’d see me again in one year. Why is the timeline for perfect eyes and starting retinopathy the same? It doesn’t make any sense. And to lower my A1C. Don’t you realize that I’m trying desperately to do that, but just because I’m working on it doesn’t mean everything else in life is making that an “easy” task. I was sniffling and probably used your entire box of tissues, but you never asked how I was feeling, just if I had any questions. I don’t even know what questions to ask!! 

You work in a diabetes eye clinic where retinopathy is probably an everyday occurrence. But I’m a person with diabetes who has never had a complication of any kind before. I’ve been taught to freak out about my eyes, so that’s what I’m doing. I’m scared out of my mind. 

Opposite of Hibernating 

March 29, 2017

Here I Go Again 

January 5, 2017

So there’s a business card sitting in my wallet. 

There have been phone calls made & phone calls missed. 

There was a smile from my endocrinologist. 

There has been a lot of mental reflection. “Am I ready for this again?” 

There has been bank account examination. 

There are insurance doubts. 

But I am so excited. 

I was pumping for 13 years before my 1.5 years break. Here I go again. 


December 23, 2016

A few weeks ago, I sat at Joslin. Without notice, they have requested that patients arrive 30 minutes early instead of 15. I sat, and I sat, and I sat. It was a snowy morning, the first in Boston, with traffic galore. I knew I’d probably be delayed.

I also knew what I needed to get done at work that day. Every five minutes I was calculating what time I’d need to leave in order to get everything done. The first half hour wasn’t bad, since it wasn’t my appointment time yet. However, the last half hour was frustrating. This doctor has never been late in the past. I’ve been so frustrated with diabetes and other stressors in my life lately, that I really needed this appointment. At the time when I knew I needed to be back at work, I walked over to the check out area. 

She asked me to confirm that I was canceling. I said, “it would seem the doctor has cancelled at this point since I still haven’t seen him?” I went on to explain how the delay may be understandable, but SOMEONE should have come out to explain the delay. She seemed completely flabbergasted and shocked that I was disappointed and leaving. She was also frustrated with my work & vacation limitations. I didn’t know what 2017’s insurance plan would be yet, so I needed this to be before the end of the calendar year. We finally found a time that worked for both of us. 

When I left, I posted on Facebook about possibly leaving Joslin for my medical care. I need a place that respects me and my time. I certainly understand that people run late, there are medical emergencies, and that you can be two minutes away from Joslin and it take you another twenty to check in. I understand all of that. But I want a place that will keep me updated. Your doctor is running late due to a medical emergency. Or, your doctor is running late because of the weather. Or, your doctor is running late, how long can you stay? Something! 

When I went back earlier this week, the doctor called me back 2 minutes after my scheduled time (I’d call that perfectly on time!) After a standard greeting, he said, “You cancelled last time?” I think he was shocked when I said, “no, I left to get back to work when you were 30 minutes late.” Luckily, he apologized.

 The appointment went on as it was supposed to. I like this doctor and I don’t know if trying to find a new positive fit is worth my time. I have an endocrinologist appointment early in 2017, and hopefully that meeting goes as smoothly as my second attempt. 


November 15, 2016

I know that I haven’t been talkative here lately. I’m trying. So very very hard. But flattening and lowering these lines is where my focus is. So please hang tight. 

Getting Ready + Low BG 

October 5, 2016

Girls’ Night

Disclosing on a First Date

September 19, 2016

I’m back in the dating world. 

I wasn’t out of it for very long, but I didn’t have a Dexcom when I was dating and it was spring. Dating in the summer plus a Dexcom means it can be really difficult to “hide” diabetes. I do not “hide” diabetes. It does not mean I am always ready to disclose it on a first date. 

Favorite place to wear Dex

But when you walk into a date wearing a sundress, and you sit next to him with the Dexcom arm closest to him, it is hard to delay the diabetes conversation. He was so excited for me to be willing to talk. He was excited to see the Dexcom and watch me try to pair it with my phone. He asked so many pertinent questions and it made disclosing on this first date very easy. It also made me more confident for the next date/dates as far as diabetes goes. 

Traveling with Diabetes 

August 31, 2016

From planning…

To actualization

Be Mixed

August 24, 2016

My friend and I were at the local bar one night. I was not in a beer mood, but also didn’t really want to drink anything with a lot of sugar. I griped about the lack of diet choices in bars. 

During that week I received an email asking if I’d like to try out Be Mixed. After looking past the term “diabetes sufferers,” I decided to give them a chance. 

“a new line of all-natural, zero-calorie cocktail mixers, that allows you to have mixology-inspired cocktails or mocktails at home”

I decided to try it. Sometimes I’d like to have a drink that isn’t going to wreck havoc on my BGs/Dexcom line. 

I knew that I wanted the margarita mix to be the first one I tried, but I also wanted to try one of the fancy recipes. 

I’m not quite sure why I was still expecting it to taste like a margarita, so the initial sip shocked me. After I wrapped my head around it, I loved it. I was still dealing with the same high blood sugars I dealt with during vacation. I watched my Dexcom waiting for it to go up (especially with the grapefruit in there), but all of a sudden it went down. Not crashing down, but down just like I had been hoping for.  

Later that week, a friend came over for a walk and a drink. We opened the cucumber mint and mixed it with tangerine vodka. It was delicious! My friend, who does not have diabetes, just simply loved the drink for it’s taste. I was waiting for my blood sugars to start rising, but they never did! I couldn’t wait to tell everyone about it. The next day I ordered a case of the margarita Be Mixed. This will definitely be a staple of what I drink at my house. And maybe I can convince this bartender to keep some on hand too…

Yes, they sent me a free sample. No, I am not obligated to write about the product. Yes, all thoughts & opinions on this product are my own.