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In a Glass 

April 27, 2016

I try not to get too excited about first dates because that’s all they ever seem to be. I was actually excited about this one. We had been talking for days and never ran out of things to say. I wasn’t nervous about this one, just excited. 

We were at a tequila bar discussing how we like our margaritas (over rocks, not frozen). That’s when I heard “blah blah unless it’s fruity, but then it’s just diabetes in a glass.” I was stunned. I knew that I should say something, maybe even pull the CGM out of my pocket. Maybe tell him that my diabetes is nearly older than he is. Maybe I should tell him a lot of things. Mostly that patient blaming sucks. And he should stop. But I kept my mouth shut. I didn’t want to make a scene. I knew he would not be worth the time and effort to correct him. He had been making comments all afternoon that suggested he is set in his ways and unwilling to even think about changing. 

He apologized for getting called into work; I was counting my blessings. People have suggested I give him another chance. With the caveat that I tell him how I felt and why before seeing him again. While I agree this is probably what I should do, I still get bothered thinking about that statement. He also made other, extremely judgy statements about other people we passed and I don’t think my efforts should be focused on him. Maybe if it had just been one statement. Maybe if he seemed like an open and accepting person. There were a lot of maybes that day. Adding them all together, the solution is no, I will not see him again. I do hope that someday, someone in his life will correct the inaccuracy. For now, this will not be me. 

On my way home my friends texted to see if I wanted to grab dinner. I went back to my people where it doesn’t matter what’s in the glasses. 

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Clara barton permalink
    April 29, 2016 10:16 PM

    Good call. Definitely not worth your time. Before I had a family member diagnosed I wouldn’t have made that comment. Now with a loved one diagnosed I would be angry

    There’s someone out there open minded and kind and will treat others with kindness and not judgement and labels.

    My motto is mean people suck and this guy falls into that category.

  2. April 30, 2016 8:02 AM

    Well, based on that comment alone, I would’ve said, very straight-faced and matter-of-factly, that “you’re wrong, and I take this topic very seriously, and here’s why..” Calmly and without emotion. Either he apologizes and admits to learning something new, he feels bad about what he said but says nothing, or he insensitively brushes it off. I’m a big fan of breaking the pace with serious, slow speech – it conveys that you’re not having fun and mean business.

    Taking out your CGM and causing a scene would’ve certainly ended in the third possibility- that wouldn’t end well. But this particular guy sounds like an overall judgmental jerk anyway, so I think you did the right thing in just letting the night progress towards its conclusion.

    Sorry the date turned out so lousy. Glad you had a chance to practice refining your reaction/response on someone who didn’t really matter anyway.

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