The End
This has been sitting in my drafts for almost a year as a letter to my old endocrinologist. I know that it ends abruptly, but maybe it should be that way. That is how I feel our doctor/patient relationship ended and I was not ready or prepared for it and certainly not ready to move on. I have now, which is maybe why I’m willing to post this. I still miss her.
I wonder if you know that it’s hard for me to find people I’m comfortable with.
Or that I instantly felt comfortable with you.
And that you were the first person I openly admitted to never wanting to run a half marathon again.
And you understood that even when the numbers were good, it doesn’t mean I feel good.
And you loved my sports.
I loved the day you told me to drink red wine. (But I don’t like red wine.)
You laughed at me when I showed up in a dress and tights so that you could easily check the scar tissue on my legs. It’s okay, I felt ridiculous too.
I loved when we talked about your hometown since I spent so much time there as a child.
I had no idea you were leaving. I needed you this week. Maybe more than I ever have. I was so excited to have found a young doctor I could stay with for years. In college I had a good doctor, but she was not personable and I thought that is what my doctor life would be like for the rest of my life. I always left remembering my pediatric endo. Not that I don’t still remember her, but you are just like her. I always leave with a plan and a positive experience. I was working and dealing with a bad diabetes day and texting my friend about it and saying how I was so excited to see you. That’s when she told me you were gone.
She sounds amazing, and like she appreciated you too!
Our dream endo is leaving in July. I’m trying to remain optimistic about what’s next.
It’s such a shame when you actually find a doctor you love and who understands diabetes and it’s such a shame you didn’t get to have a lifelong doctorship with them. I love my doctor and he’s amazing with my crappiness and I would definitely feel lost if he up and left. It can be so long and hard to find someone who understands you in the medical field.