The End 

This has been sitting in my drafts for almost a year as a letter to my old endocrinologist. I know that it ends abruptly, but maybe it should be that way. That is how I feel our doctor/patient relationship ended and I was not ready or prepared for it and certainly not ready to move on. I have now, which is maybe why I’m willing to post this. I still miss her. 

 I wonder if you know that it’s hard for me to find people I’m comfortable with.

Or that I instantly felt comfortable with you.

And that you were the first person I openly admitted to never wanting to run a half marathon again.

And you understood that even when the numbers were good, it doesn’t mean I feel good.

And you loved my sports.

I loved the day you told me to drink red wine. (But I don’t like red wine.)

  
You laughed at me when I showed up in a dress and tights so that you could easily check the scar tissue on my legs. It’s okay, I felt ridiculous too.

I loved when we talked about your hometown since I spent so much time there as a child.

I had no idea you were leaving. I needed you this week. Maybe more than I ever have. I was so excited to have found a young doctor I could stay with for years. In college I had a good doctor, but she was not personable and I thought that is what my doctor life would be like for the rest of my life. I always left remembering my pediatric endo. Not that I don’t still remember her, but you are just like her. I always leave with a plan and a positive experience. I was working and dealing with a bad diabetes day and texting my friend about it and saying how I was so excited to see you. That’s when she told me you were gone.