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Spur of the Moment

March 6, 2014

It had taken me forever to get there, and then I got lost, and I was nervous as hell and I was nervous about one of those sweaty lows coming in and taking over. (If you don’t know which sweaty lows I’m talking about, go get Balancing Diabetes – I’ve described it quite well over there.)

It was absolutely the best first date I’ve ever been on. The conversation was easy and there were no thoughts of “get me out of here.” I took out my pump to bolus for a beer and nothing was said. We started talking about running and how he had spur of the moment gone for a 10 mile run that  week. I said something along the lines of “I couldn’t do that.” We do know that I can run 10 miles (and more!), but when I was only running a 5K at the time, I knew that an increase in 7 miles and a significant increase in running time would not bode well for me and my diabetes. I sat there trying to explain that I would need to work myself up to 10 miles. Even though I had bolused for a beer, he did not yet know that I had diabetes and the tightening in my chest of my face giving it away scared me for a minute. I did not want to disclose diabetes in the midst of an exercise conversation because would I immediately be looked at as being weak? I didn’t want to risk it. The other part of me filled with jealousy. I would LOVE to be able to just start running without a plan, and without a backpack full of sugar. The fear & the jealousy were a weird combination rustling through my body. Could I become a capable actress in that moment to hide what I was really feeling? Did I want to be that actress? WAS I DISGRACING WHAT I’M TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH HERE?

I can, in fact, run 10 miles :)

I can, in fact, run 10 miles 🙂

I survived the date, had a few more and then moved on. He did find out about diabetes, asked really pertinent questions, and didn’t care at all.

I never envisioned myself writing this post. But my “expertise” in dating with diabetes is published and then today Lindsay said she loved what I had to say because it’s an aspect of diabetes she never had to deal with. I certainly do not date enough to absolutely know what I’m talking about, but I can share my experiences. If not for Lindsey’s conversation today while reading the Exercise chapter, this post would not be published. Or written. 

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. abbybayer permalink
    March 6, 2014 11:42 PM

    remember that time a guy I dated told me “it’s totally fine you have diabetes. to make you feel better, I’ll tell you that I have 2 kids”

    dating is the worst. may you find your prince charming soon.

  2. scratchtype1 permalink
    March 7, 2014 7:39 AM

    Sweaty lows are the worst, especially when you first aren’t realizing and you’re wondering why the heck sweating is beading up on the forearms and it’s not warm or anything. As for spur of the moment runs, that’s one of the things which makes me grumpy about having type 1 sometimes, it feels like I’m always have to plan and plan and plan to get me to the next time I run, so the blood sugar is in a good position and I have little to no extra or bolus insulin on board.

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