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It’s Not Right

May 13, 2013

I am sitting here knowing I need to write.  Knowing that I need to get what I’m feeling RIGHT NOW published.  Today’s lowest blood sugar has been 177 and the graph looked something like this:

It even teased me for a little bit

It even teased me for a little bit

I have done EVERYTHING right.  I have had more water than I could keep track of. I MEASURED MY FOOD!  I ate crazy healthy (eggs & blueberries for breakfast, soybeans & chickpeas for lunch, yogurt for a snack, coffee).  I tested every 90 minutes so I could keep track of where I’ve been.  I have not rage bolused.  I have walked around so as to lower my blood sugar without causing more harm to it.  I skipped my workout because I knew the temp basal wouldn’t be good for it.  I have taken a shot.  I have changed my pump site.  IT ISN’T HELPING.  And now, now I’m 380.  And the nice lady at Animas informed me that long tubing pump sites only come in gray.  And do you know what happened?!  I CRIED!  Are you kidding me?  This is not worth crying over!  But after a day like today I am not surprised.  I am starving.  And sitting here writing this and staring at my not-on TV not eating because I’m too damn scared that what I have for dinner tonight will make me jump even more.  And that’s just not right.

It’s not right that even when you take all the right steps, diabetes can still say, I don’t care.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. May 13, 2013 7:35 PM

    Many hugs to you right now, which may not lower your blood sugar but would at least make you feel better. I’ve been there; a lot of us have. Heck, I’ve had weeks like that! Hoping that your body will comply with your wishes soon. (And I would cry over their choice of tubing colors, too! Why can’t they be fashionable?)

    • May 13, 2013 9:20 PM

      I know we have all been here, but I wish we hadn’t, and thank you for the virtual hugs.

  2. May 13, 2013 8:20 PM

    Rage, Briley. RAGE! Don’t ask me why, but sometimes a big shot of rage bolus is just what a body needs in order to recognize that “hey, there’s some insulin here, maybe I should use it!”. Just be prepared to treat a low… just in case.

    (My personal experiences only. Your diabetes may vary.)

    • May 13, 2013 9:20 PM

      Trust me, rage is the first place I want to go, but I’ve had some pretty serious lows because of that in the past which are infinitely more scary, so I avoid them at all costs! Even though the urge is still there.

      • May 13, 2013 9:42 PM

        Well then, I’m sorry for trying to tempt you.

  3. May 13, 2013 9:51 PM

    Feel better!!! Maybe do a series of mini-rage boluses, every 60-90 minutes or so? I’ve found that helps me not have a super low after a rage bolus.

    (((Internet Hugs)))

  4. May 13, 2013 10:33 PM

    Oh Briley – I hope the high goes away!

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