I think we’ve all been scared before. I mean, who hasn’t been scared at some point in their life? I joined a volleyball league for this spring and so far diabetes has been a non-issue. The only issue has been taking off my tummie-tote without people noticing (which I’m sure they have). Tuesday was different though. I did a leg strength workout in the morning, followed by a beautiful walk along the river.
When I got in my car with dinner in hand, I bolused without thinking twice. By the time I got to volleyball, I had dropped a hundred points and knew it wasn’t going anywhere good. I temp basaled at half, and waited for the next game to finish to test again. During the game I knew that I was low. We have a couple of guys who are all about hitting the ball every single time, so I let them run in and take over. When we switched sides again, I was 40. I turned off my pump and sucked down two Level packets. I went back to being on the court, but again just kinda standing there. When the game was over and we had lost, I packed up my stuff, walked out with my teammates and was surprised that no one said a word. I walked to my car and grabbed my phone in fear. I was 70 by that time, but I was still scared to be there. I texted Abby, explaining my fears and hoping I made sense, and compared my texts to college drunk texts. I wanted there to be someone I could call to come sit with me, but Abby is pretty damn near close. When I was set to drive, off I went. I like to believe that someday the fear won’t be there, but I know that it will. At least there are people in this world I can share it with and who can support me in these times.