Coming Clean

I swear.  I’m here.  I just… I just….

*SIGH*

I’ve been told that I would be good at working with and/or for people with diabetes many times over.  And at times in my life that is what I’ve wanted to do.  But I just don’t know if I can do it.  See, with the new job and the move and getting used to everything, diabetes kind of got put on the back burner.  I’ve been testing and bolusing.  But there have been highs.  And lows.  And lots of  hanging out higher than good.  And as this happens my blogging has stopped as well.  I know that blogging is not a job, but I do love it and I do take it seriously.  I want my words to be powerful meaningful, but I also want to tell my story.  I don’t want to ever change who I am.  That can be hard.  If I were to ever transform this into something more meaningful to the larger world, would I be able to do it?  Stay focused?  Use my knowledge of diabetes as it relates to others and not just myself?  I am always going to be grateful to the powerful advocates with & for diabetes.  I know you work your a**es off for the rest of us and I couldn’t love you more for it.  I just don’t think I can ever be in the same caliber as you.  I need to be able to distance myself.  My life as a diabetes advocate will most likely be writing about my life & my experiences and raising money through walks and through the JDRF.  And that is OK! I will probably still compare myself to the greats, but that doesn’t mean that I need to be one.