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About Last Night

February 2, 2012

Yesterday was not a bad day.  It’s my busy day with the kids, but they know what to expect, so it’s not too bad.  As we were on our way to their activities after school, I started to feel a bit shaky.  So I shoved down a few tabs (they stay in the door of my car for just this reason).  I then had the brilliant idea to go to Starbucks and get a frilly beverage.  They have lots o’ sugar, and hey, I went low at this time the day before too.  But first I would be responsible and pick up that mouthwash Boy Genius wants first.  But oh look, something shiny!  And chocolatey.  So I eat my deliciousness and sip on my deliciousness and bolus for 15g because there is NO WAY I won’t spike.  Except that once we get back to the Genius house I feel low again.  And yup, meter confirms this.  HOW?! I sit down and adjust my basal because I was low the day before at this exact time. *Keep your fingers crossed for me today.*  By the time Dad Genius gets home, I feel fine, but by the time I pull in my driveway I feel low again.  (Keep in mind, I’m less than 2 miles away.)  I didn’t even make it upstairs to my room, I dropped my stuff on the stairs and got out my juice.

I left it on the counter the entire time I was cooking dinner in case I needed more

I made dinner (pizza), and ate 2 gloriously large pieces.  And bolused for about 20g.  And right as #dsma was about to start I was starting to go low again.  So I set a temp basal and ran to my freezer for my salted caramel ice cream.  I tried to pay attention to dsma, and to my ice cream, and it was a little difficult plus I was getting tired.  So I stopped doing the #dsma thing and got all my stuff together to go upstairs (all my stuff was still on the stairs).  I was all ready for bed and decided to test “just because.”  So imagine my surprise when a 38 mg/dL started staring me back in the face. I keep a bottle of tabs on the headboard of my bed (it’s a little cabinet thing…it’s awesome), so imagine my surprise when I couldn’t find it.  I ran over to my food supply shelf and grabbed two containers of baby food mango and the other jar of tabs.  I sucked down one of the mangos, then the tabs, then the other mango.  (Get that tab grossness out of my mouth)  And then the meltdowns of all low meltdowns started.  I was tired, and low, and mad and scared and fed up.
I hated diabetes in that instant.  But immediately after I learned how much I love the DOC.  There were so many people there to offer support and help and to stay with me until my sugar came up.  I couldn’t read it all though because the tears were burning my eyes.  I was a snotty, slobbery mess.  And I gathered myself together and told Kerri I really was having a meltdown.  And that’s when my phone rang.  And of course she asks if I’m okay and I just start crying all over again.    I told her about my day and how I the last time I wasn’t low was at 1:15.  We talked about how I’d test until I was in the 3 digit area and then I’d wake up at 3 AM, and how I’d probably wake up seriously high and hung-lowver.  And I would drink more coffee today than I’d know how to process.  By the time we hung up the phone, I was laughing (progress!), and I texted her when I was finally high enough to sleep.  And in the mean time I had so much support on twitter too.  I want to thank everyone who was there for me last night.  Even people who I don’t recall having talked with before.

There are not enough words to express how grateful I am to the other PWDs out there.  The support I felt last night was immense and I cannot thank you enough.  I don’t want anyone to ever need this support, but I know that others will.  I may need it again as well.  And at least it is there.

Big thanks go out to Simon, Jess, Kerri, Caroline, Karen, Kerri, P, Marie, Lexi, Cherise, Mike, Lawren, Kelly, Kim

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. February 2, 2012 12:06 PM

    I’m a new T1. I just discovered #DOC last week. That was my first #dsma. Amid the joking about dull lancets, I saw your tweets. I felt your fear all the way in Chicago. I’ve had a runaway low and it is one of the scariest feelings I’ve ever had. No one should have to feel that frightened by themselves. I wanted to make sure you were OK, and was glad when your numbers started going up.

    We’re in this together. If you need me, I’m here.

    Gentle Hugs!
    Marie aka @CelloBard

  2. February 2, 2012 2:14 PM

    That’s why we’re here. I’m glad that you survived the many lows. Here’s to hoping that today is better.

    I myself had to increase my carbs in the morning because for lunch I had a low two days in a row.

    We are with you.
    -Dr. P

  3. February 2, 2012 4:05 PM

    We love you big time, Briley.

  4. February 2, 2012 9:15 PM

    Glad I could be of some help from all the way over here.

    Remember in spite of everything, you are amazing, and there are people all over the world who are on your side <3. You can do this — hang in there, Briley.

  5. February 8, 2012 12:21 AM

    what kerri said. both of them, actually! 😉

    love you, friend. glad you’re ok. ❤

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