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Because

November 21, 2013

Because it’s one AM and I’m so full of rage that I can’t sleep.

Because I’ve gone to bed MULTIPLE times this week thinking “will I wake up in the morning?”

Because I’m so full of sugar that I feel like I’m going to throw up.

Because my pump is yelling at me to refill it and I don’t want to turn the alarm off.

Because I want to throw it out the window.

Because I don’t want to advocate right now.

Because I didn’t have a choice but TO advocate.

Because my advocacy is reaching people I wasn’t even trying to.

Because that makes me smile.

Because the rage from diabetes gets in the way of working positively with the kids (when this happens I hide in the laundry room).

Because even though I didn’t have a roller coaster day, my night sucked.

Because having friends with “medical conditions” makes creepers at a bar stop talking to you.

Because I didn’t want to get home this late, but an under 40 low blood sugar kept me stranded at the bar.

Because driving is scary even if I’m not low anymore.

Because if I’m stranded at the bar, let me drink damnit.

Because the rage is all encompassing.

Because I thought I was done with it.

Because I’m wrong.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. November 21, 2013 3:13 PM

    Because I want to give you a big hug through the computer…. Because I’ve been there.
    Xoxo

  2. November 21, 2013 3:28 PM

    Ditto what KK says!
    I’ve been feeling like this a lot lately and have a hard time getting up in the morning to deal with it, your anger and frustration resonate in me!

    Hope your day is better, hugs from all the way down in Mexico :)

  3. November 21, 2013 5:25 PM

    Because we love you.

    Because polka dots.

    Because you’re not alone.

  4. November 21, 2013 6:55 PM

    This describes all of it!

  5. November 30, 2013 1:49 AM

    Because of you and other PWD I know my kids will be fine – no better than fine, fabulous.

Trackbacks

  1. Around the Diabetes Online Community - November 2013 Edition : DiabetesMine: the all things diabetes blog
  2. Acceptance | inDpendence
  3. Letting People Down | inDpendence

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